What is 42 Dates?
My Story.
Sitting at the High Museum in Atlanta, Georgia, surrounded by three exhibits:
“Iris van Herpen: Transforming Fashion” which brings style into a creative space where imagination is encouraged;
“Basquait: The Unknown Notebooks” which speaks volumes without words;
“Vik Muniz” whose work challenges one’s own perceptions;
… I could go on but will sum it up like this: “Your girl feels inspired!” In this moment, I gave birth to an idea - this blog: 42 dates. I wanted to give myself a hi-5; however, I understood that being in public and without context, others may judge this action as inappropriate.
As a 40-something year old, I am living my best life! (please refrain from judgment) I am gainfully employed, own a home in downtown Atlanta, surrounded by a squad that will rival any, financially fit, and navigating this not-made-for-television dating scene.
Hi.
My name is CP.
A heartmate in my village asked me after reading one of my first drafts, “Why would anyone want to read this?” Perplexed, because I expected support to come in a different form, I defensively stated, “Why wouldn’t they?” However, it was a challenge to go deeper, dig differently, and drive longer to my why.
The answer: to share a voice from a demographic that is unknowingly ignored, often mislabeled, and inappropriately stereotyped at times. If you hover anywhere near 40, not married, and God forbid without children surely, something must be wrong! The positive for me is that I don’t look anywhere near 40, but the judgments can be excessive. Is she gay? Can she not have children? Is she crazy? Was she imprisoned? Is she too this, too that or floating somewhere in between?
It is a bold, seemingly rightful judgment that so easily casts a portion of people aside. So, here’s my blog to inject some realism, infuse some color, and shine some light on this mystery place where judgment doesn’t reflect the reality. In this blog, there will be a few comical encounters, unbelievable engagements, uncharted experiences, and one woman’s account of 42 dates.
Let’s be clear, I have been a part of conversations, women complaining, “There are no good men out here,” “All men are dogs,” etc. but I believe quite the contrary. Though I have not found my life companion, I am inspired, motivated, and encouraged most days, as I am around men who love, adore, and connect with their significant others, girlfriends, wives, and dating partners. I rebuke the cynics. In reflection, with the art as my backdrop (remember, I am in a museum), I thought to myself, “Self, let’s turn this thing into a challenge!”
Surrounded by beauty and creativity (can I get more immersed than sitting in an art museum?), I am highly motivated, and the creative juices are flowing. A few facts to help set the scene:
She loves a challenge
She is an overachiever
She embraces experiences of any and every kind
She often talks about herself in 3rd person. CP ready (in my best Tiffany-Haddish-voice; if you didn’t laugh; it sounded better in my head)
I am the same person who wanted to complete a marathon but instead challenged myself to take on all of the Run Disney racing series in one full calendar year. That’s approximately 22 races (half and full marathons) within a year.
I am someone who did not grow up traveling but has lived, worked, and visited every continent in the world (yes, including Antarctica).
I wasn’t active in the wilderness growing up but climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro meditated with Buddhist Monks and hiked the historic site of Macchu Picchu.
I am not short-sighted about challenges, so I thought, “Why should dating be any different?”
I just joined match.com, gotta love those commercials; they make love seem so possible. But then there is a small adorable devil perched on one shoulder shouting at me in the most boisterous Kevin Hart voice, “Girl, please!” To that voice, I say, “Whatever Kevin Darnell Hart!” I am hitting the pavement and making myself available without judgment (or at least, I am going to try my best).
I am going to blog about every single date I go on; the good, the bad, the ugly, the uncomfortable, the annoying, the surprise, the connections, and everything in between. I have never blogged before, but I realize there may be individuals out there like me. I am willing to bet a good $5.00 that there are a few people who will enjoy the ride, gain a few laughs, learn a different perspective, who knows? Regardless, I have decided to take this step. She has hi-5’ed herself. She has put up that profile. She has organized that wardrobe. She ready! So, without a doubt, here it goes:
My name is CP. I am a dater, an adventure seeker, and I am committed to 42 dates!
My self-talk, “I am going to REALLY put myself out there.”
By embarking upon this dating challenge, placing myself out here, connecting with the cyber world, my expectations are that this will allow me to exercise a new muscle and hear stories similar and dissimilar to my own. If nothing else, once this experiment is over, I’ll close the blog and go back to my fabulous life of work and travel.
Want to send well wishes, encouragement, and motivation? I am open, as I am sure I will need it along the way.
So, here goes nothing…
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